I Was a Replacement Official.

Well, we really had the rug pulled out from under us. And just when we were getting the hang of it! I have a hard time reading newspapers—what with just the one good eye and all—but my wife tells me we were all over the headlines. We were getting so much attention that we were detracting from the players and games themselves!

Of course the prima donnas couldn’t stand for this. They sought only the status quo, when the boys in stripes were like second class citizens, neither seen nor heard, nor arbitrarily determining the outcome of contests! Let’s just roll back civil rights while we’re at it!

I’m no hero. I just a referee. But I did make this collage that suggests otherwise.

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