NICK LANE is an intense starer into cameras,
a short-story writer, filmmaker, one-third-of-a-novel-ist,
and semi-amateur basketball player living in Los Angeles.

All donations, questions, complaints, threats, job offers,
and donations should be directed to NickLane84@gmail.com.

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The previous “About Us” page, before vanity won:

We are a frighteningly happy family consisting of one (1) man, one (1) woman, and two (2) children. Who among us writes these posts will forever remain a mystery. Sometimes it is a mystery to us as well—one of us will wake on the floor of the computer room, not knowing how we arrived there, and on the desk will be the outline to a strange post in a handwriting we do not recognize, using words we do not understand.

When we tell you we are frighteningly happy, we do not exaggerate. Our neighbors often inform us of this. They tell us: “Please. Stop smiling like that. You are making us uncomfortable.” But we cannot, we tell them. We cannot stop smiling. We are just so happy to have neighbors like yourselves.

Jade, mother, is possibly an android as you may have guessed, making the children, Bobby and Lisa, half android, one quarter human, and one quarter chimpanzee. Rod, father, is 50% chimp as you also may have guessed. Rod’s father (Grampa!) worked for the local zoo.

The purpose of this one-way conduit of information remains vague. We suspect that one day it will be used to undermine and/or humiliate one another, or be used as a springboard for the downfall of modern society. Or we will use it to post pictures of Bobby and Lisa in funny garments that are far too large for them.